Richelle's Ramblings

gender issues

i saw a really interesting episode on oprah this afternoon. i don't know if it's an old episode or a new one, since i'm not a regular oprah viewer, but it certainly struck a chord somewhere in me. the topic was about transgender kids, or kids who realize early on that they are born into the wrong bodies.

the show featured pubescent keila, who binds her breasts everyday and has an injection every month to stop her period because she believes that she's a boy. she is now called caden, and sports a boy's haircut. then there's 9-year old hal, who tried to commit suicide at age 6 because he didn't want to be a girl (hallie) anymore. his parents finally decided to allow their little girl to become a boy. there's 5 year old dylan, who, young as he is, knows that he is a girl trapped in a boy's body. and finally there's elizabeth, a gender transplant who was named lee in her former life. the show talked about the kids' struggles, as well as their parents difficulties in accepting the "condition" of their child. what really amazed me tho, is how open the kids are about how they felt with their parents, and the parents' willingness to accept the changes in their kids. oh of course there's the father who couldn't accept that his son liked to play with barbie more than play football, but he eventually realized what was best for his son in the end.

it also made me think hard about the kids i'll be having.

everytime someone would ask me what i'd like my baby to be, if i want a boy or a girl, i'd say as long as my baby comes out healthy and normal, i'd be more than happy with that. sometimes i'd jokingly ask the husband what he'd do if our baby turns out to be gay, and he'd reply that he'll send the baby back to my womb to get its gender right.

but what if that actually happens? what if 5 or 10 years down the line, my son would tell me that he wants to be share my clothes and my make-up, or my daughter would insist on going to the little boy's room because she's really a boy trapped in a girl's body? how would i handle that?

coming from a devout christian family, and chinese at that, being gay is not really accepted in our culture. it's generally considered a sin (since the Bible says God created only two sexes) that should be prayed over and prayed about until the phase wears off. people should just be male or female, and not in between. churches that have so far accepted gays and lesbians, like the episcopalian church in the US which anointed a gay bishop, are not only frowned upon, but heavily criticized.

it is all too easy to judge and say something is right or wrong, but what if it happens to my own kid? would i allow him/her to be gay/lesbian if that's what my kid wants? i don't know. i don't have anything against gays or lesbians. in fact, i've a lot of bading friends and i find them to be really fun to be with they're very creative and are amazing persons who make great and true friends. but i guess it would be a case of my maternal instinct battling with my christian upbringing. as a mother, i'd want my kid to grow up to be who he/she wants to be, to live life to the fullest and achieve whatever dreams he/she has. as a mother i'd want to accept my kid no matter what and who he/she is. but my christian upbringing tells me that being a member of the third sex is wrong, that wanting to be the opposite sex is not glorifying to God at all.

i suppose at the end of the day, i'd just have to pray real hard that God preserves and protects my baby, that my baby comes out strong, healthy and normal in His eyes. after all, it's what's inside that counts and what He sees in our hearts.

posted by Austin @ 7:37 AM